What are garden gnomes?

Garden gnomes are small, round objects with a flat top made from wood or plastic. They have no face and they do not speak. Instead, they simply look at you when you walk near them. Some garden gnomes even have wheels which allows them to roll around on the ground like a ballon. They’re usually used for decoration purposes but some people use them as a tool to dig holes or make other things.

Why do I need to know about garden gnomes?

Garden gnomes are commonly known as “gnomish toys” because they resemble little toy cars. They were originally designed for children’s play and their popularity has grown over time. However, they’ve been found in many different forms ranging from tiny ones to huge ones. There are also various colors of them. Although most garden gnomes come in white, there are also green, blue and purple varieties available too!

How can I tell if my garden gnome is a toy car?

If your garden gnome looks like it was made out of cardboard, then it probably is. If it doesn’t look like anything else, then its likely to be a toy car. You might want to ask someone who knows what they’re talking about before buying one though.

The first thing you should do when looking for a garden gnome is check the price tag. If it’s under $10, it’s definitely going to be a toy car or something like that.

Also, look for the right size. If it’s too small or too big, then that’s another sign you’re probably looking at a toy car instead of a proper garden gnome.

What do I need to know about garden gnome history?

Many people believe that garden gnomes are a relatively new phenomenon in the scheme of things. This is certainly not the case! Garden gnomes have been around for several centuries and have served a variety of purposes throughout the years. Many ancient civilizations used them in religious ceremonies, as oracles and even as idols to worship and adore. They were also used as magical charms to ward off evil spirits and bad luck.

As time went on, their uses became more practical for the average human being. For example, English peasants used them as weights on their fishing nets and some even kept them as pets.

It wasn’t uncommon to see a garden gnome on top of a coach pulling it somewhere or even sitting beside the coachman. In larger towns and cities, you could even find entire families of garden gnomes living in little houses!

What are inappropriate garden gnomes?

I don’t think we need to explain why this is the case…but just in case you’re an idiot, we’ll explain it anyway. Inappropriate garden gnomes are just that: inappropriate. These gnomes are naked or semi-clothed and they tend to be the subject of much criticism and controversy in today’s modern society. Just a few decades ago, these types of garden gnomes were rarely seen but their popularity seems to be on the rise for some reason…

What does a garden gnome do?

This question seems rather straightforward but it actually has a bit of depth to it.

What do you expect a garden gnome to do?

Garden gnomes are designed to sit outside in the garden. They’re not very big so they don’t take up too much space and they’re fairly easy to look after. Some people like to place them in unusual locations or situations for the fun of it, such as on top of a shed or on a wall. Certain people even take pictures of them in different locations and post them on the internet.

What colours do garden gnomes come in?

As you might expect, garden gnomes come in many different colours. Most garden gnomes are white but they can also be green, blue or purple too. Pink garden gnomes were released a couple of years ago as part of a charity event for cancer research but they didn’t prove to be very popular and their future is uncertain. Black garden gnomes were released a few decades ago and they proved to be far too popular for their own good. There are so many black garden gnomes in people’s gardens now that the demand for other colours has decreased.

What size are garden gnomes?

Garden gnomes come in all shapes and sizes. The smaller ones that you sometimes see on top of flowerpots are slightly larger than your average action figure while the larger ones can be as big as a small child. Most garden gnomes are between 30 centimetres and 1 metre tall. Certain breeds have been known to be smaller or larger but they are much less common.

What do garden gnomes eat?

Garden gnomes are not real so they don’t really eat anything. That being said, many people like to place food out for them anyway such as pieces of fruit or little sausages. Others prefer to give them something a little more substantial such as a slice of cake. It’s considered to be good luck to feed a garden gnome. Some people go as far as to leave out a little bed for the gnome to sleep on too.

What is the difference between a garden gnome and a garden goblin?

Garden goblins are most often mistaken for garden gnomes but they’re really quite different. Garden gnomes are friendly little creatures that aren’t much larger than a human toddler. Garden goblins, on the other hand, are small spiteful creatures that come in a variety of different colours but naturally hide using illusions to keep themselves hidden. The most common colouration for a garden goblin is green but they can also be pink, purple or blue.

Do garden gnomes have any real magic powers?

Although many stories would have you believe that they do, the truth is that garden gnomes do not have any real magic powers at all. There are many rumours about them though, such as the ability to grant wishes or even bring people back from the dead! One of the more common myths about them is that they can grant you good gardening skills if you touched one before midnight. This is utter nonsense of course but there are many who would try it anyway.

What harm do garden gnomes do?

Although garden gnomes do not actually have any magical powers, their cuteness and friendliness coupled with the myths and legends surrounding them have often been known to cause a form of Mass Delusion in people, particularly teenagers. This usually takes the form of the teenager or even a group of teenagers becoming convinced that they see garden gnomes in their garden when there aren’t any. This is most commonly known as “Gnome Vision” and can sometimes lead to people committing vandalism, criminal damage or even assault as they try to get the “gnomes” to leave their garden.

Should I be concerned about garden gnomes?

This whole thing about garden gnomes being real is mostly an urban myth anyway so there’s no reason to worry about them. Unless you’re a teenager or know one then you probably don’t need to worry about them at all.

What should I do if I’m a teenager and I think I might be experiencing Gnome Vision?

The important thing to remember is that the visions you’re having are not real so there’s no reason for you to worry about it. The best thing to do is just to relax and try not to think about garden gnomes. If the thoughts are causing you stress or concern then speak to your local doctor or mental health professional about it. They should be able to help you through it.

Sources & references used in this article:

Gardens at the frontier: new methodological perspectives on garden history and designed landscapes: Introduction to Special Issue by J Beattie – 2016 – Taylor & Francis

Kitsch is dead—Long live garden gnomes by E Londos – Home Cultures, 2006 – Taylor & Francis

From silver cups to garden gnomes: toward a contextual reception of standardized images by E Mayer – Arethusa, 2012 – JSTOR

The hermit in the garden: From imperial Rome to ornamental gnome by G Campbell – 2013 – books.google.com

Grafting cultures: Longing and belonging in immigrants’ gardens and backyards in Fairfield by G Morgan, C Rocha, S Poynting – Journal of Intercultural Studies, 2005 – Taylor & Francis

Negotiating the gnome zone by A Medhurst – Visions of Suburbia. London, New York: Routledge, 1997 – books.google.com

Aporias of modern aesthetics by P Bürger – New Left Review, 1990 – newleftreview.org



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